| Wow. |
[Dec. 20th, 2004|05:28 pm] |
I'm home.
Its been over a month since I've been gone.
And over 25 pounds are also gone.
I am thinner than ever and I feel wonderful.
Yet.. none of my clothes fit. Not the extra small anything.. but my petites are still too small.
It's strange.. I weight the least I ever have.. and measured with the smallest my waist and thighs have ever been.. yet... I can't fit into my old clothes? What the hell is that?
Justin realized he can't stop this. He told me if I dip under 90 or stop having my period he's putting me in the hospital. And I've gone that route and know how to hide it.. he doesn't know that.. so I just agreed..
it'd be more likely that we were pregnant than me stopping it because of my diet.
I love him. But he just doesn't get it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2004|02:01 am] |
I told Justin that I bought stackers.
He's pissed. More than pissed.
He told me he worries about me when he's far away.
It really hurts to lie to him. This is why I am so thankful for this journal.
I am going to be a hard wife to live with. |
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| Fuck it all. |
[Nov. 12th, 2004|02:36 am] |
| [ | music |
| | We will Rise : Arch Enemy | ] |
My voice is gone. Gone gone gone.
Rain and cold equals me getting sick.
Skinned elbows and hands and a ruined jacket.
Ian figured it all out. I have yet to see my spine, but apparently he could see it through my shirt. Consequently, I was berated for a half an hour because of it. He even threatened to call Justin and tell him everything.
Maybe it's just me, but the threat of telling the one person who I know will stand through me with all this shit.. and hell.. is just as skinny as I am .. isn't much of a threat.
on the plus side
I have an excuse to buy a new jacket.
I can put off the record for a few more weeks... you know because... I "need more time emotionally"...
IAN COULD SEE MY SPINE TODAY!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 7th, 2004|10:30 pm] |
Hehe.. yes. I stole it. |
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| Oh fancy. |
[May. 16th, 2004|05:17 pm] |
I got a new journal.. No one knows it's even here.
But thats alright. Cause no one even knows it's me!! |
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